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Jesus has captured my heart... I'm a 'there's always a silver lining' kind of girl. I love making people laugh & smile and seeing people reach their dreams.

Friday 30 January 2009

Cherry Cola!

I think there is something wrong with me, I'd like to say all the time but I just dont know; so there is deffinately something wrong with me today. I just can't do anything, not like I'm crap at it all I mean, it's like I just can't do anything. I just don't work today, I'm broken. The worst thing is, is that I have no cluse as to why. It might hve something to do with talking to Ben last night on facebook, maybe after talking to him I get a little depressed because of our/my situation. But then again at the moment I am struggling with my relationship with one of my supposed best friends. I say supossed as I don't know where we are anymore. She keeps lying to me and has now broken two promises that she made to me only this month! and I just do not know what to do about it. Should I confront her, in a loving way, and tell her I know even though I have no real 'proof' other than a drunken text she tried to send to him which she sent to another of our friends, Laura, who showed me and forwarded it to me. Not for malisious reason might I add, but because I asked her to and she is also very worried this girl, lets call her Verity. We are both extremely worried about Verity as we don't know what to do or if we should do anything. The thing is though, Verity is hiding this from everyone other than "Steph" as well as hiding other things from people who should know them, like the leader of the church youth group she helps lead. Really, she put me into a very difficult postion by telling me some things as I too help lead prt of the youth and I know that the Leader needs to know them but I can't tell them. Not only because it is not y place, but because, well because I just can't. Not sure how to explain why I couldn't do it but I just couldn't. Not yet at least. If the situation Verity is lying to me about gets worse, I may have to the youth leader. But I won't yet.
all I need to deal with at the moment is trying to talk to her about ti and not acting differently around her, I'm not doing it on purpose, but I just am keeping slightly distanced from her. I would usually be joking and laughing andmessing aound but I am just not able to do it at this pointin time. I think it's becaue whenever I look at her I just think "Why do you keep lying to me, Verity? Do you not trust me anymore?!"
What's worse, I think I'm making myself physically ill over this. Have never worried about something like this before. I just don't understand! I guess Verity and her lying are the reason that I am not able to focus on any of my work. Tonight it will be worse, I wil have to put on a false smile and pretend like there is nothing wrong as I have my small group meeting (a group of girls from the youth I dicsiple and mentor) as I don't want them to see what's wrong as I would have to lie to them as to what it is about and I don't want to have to so basicaly it will just be easier to 'put on a brave face'.
Well any ways I best at least try to do some work.

forgot to post.. so I tried to work, didn't but i feel slightly better as i have messed around with my college friends. - classic times!

2 comments:

MissHarwood said...

Matthew 18:21-22
Try and forgive Verity, let her know you love her, and then talk to her about it.
Don't do it when you're still hung up on it, cuz Verity will just get worried and won't open up.
Forgive Verity in your heart, then talk to her and show her that you love her and want to help her.
Support her.

Nicola said...

Verity has no broken up with him, so I havent needed to talk to her about it. But I think I might still but from a different angle as I am still worried about her.
Thank you Hat. [: x

Some one once told me "the grass is much greener on the other side" 'til further notice I'm in between. From where I'm standing the grass is green