So, it is New Years Eve and I suppose it's time to both look back at the year almost over and forward to the one just about to start.
New Years Eve can seem such a let down when it gets build up to be an exciting night filled with possibility when you end up spending it at home with your sister and your parents doing nothing different to the rest of the nights of the Christmas holidays except perhaps having some champagne. But this year, I am going to choose to look at it differently. Yes my friends let me down on Christmas Eve so I was hoping they wouldn't as well on New Years Eve but never mind; I can enjoy the night without them. This year I am choosing to, even more so than I have done in the past, to look for the positives. I have always been a 'glass half-full' kind of girl but where possible I want to look for the glass to be 3/4 full. Now I'm not saying that I will belittle any of the hardships and crap that will come because that would be a ridiculous thing to do, but I will look harder for the good in bad situations and in everyday life.


Looking back...
At the start of last year I decided not to make resolutions because I always break them after a few weeks or months; so instead I made goals for the year. It might just seem like a different word for the same thing but to me, at least, it helped me stick to them. I think I made more than 3 but I know that the following 3 goals I actually managed.

1) To make more of an effort and have more pride in my appearance.

2) To make healthier choices; if this results in weight-loss, extra win!

3) To be brave.

I can honestly say that in some way or another I stuck to these goals and am proud of myself for it. None of them where made for anyone else and I did them for me, whereas in the past I have wanted to loose weight for others, for guys actually. hoping that if I lost a certain amount I might be seen as beautiful or even get a boyfriend. But that's not why I did any of them this year and it feels GREAT! Here are some of the ways I accomplished my 2014 goals.

1) It's not that I didn't care what I looked like before 2014 - sometimes I cared too much how others saw me - it was that I wasn't taking much pride in the everyday, unless I knew I was going to do something special or it was sometimes that I only cared about what others might think of the way I looked. So I chose this past year to look after my appearance for myself and myself only. But if others noticed/thought I looked good than that was just a bonus. And I did make much more of an effort, but it seems I didn't factor in the tame it takes to have pride in the way I presented myself as I'm sure I was later to things like church and going out with friends more than the previous year. I guess I've found a goal for 2015!

2) I have certainly made some more healthy choices in 2014 - never have I drunk so much during the day before this year. It has not been water as I just can't even force myself to drink lots of it, but I figure drinking squash and the like more is better than not drinking anything. I bought a bottle back in March or something and it is a litre bottle so it helps me know how much I have drunk and somehow it magically makes me drink so much more! Some days it's only 1 but other days it might be 1.5 or even 2 whole bottles. And that might not seem like a big achievement to you bu to me, who never used to drink anywhere near that, it's huge. Plus I have tried to snack on fruit more as well. Not done so well with that but I'm still working on it.

The Magical Bottle - I also have it in blue now!

Oh and I actually started Exante Diet again and as of before Christmas I had lots around 2 stone and can now fit into the dress I bought (knowingly 2 sizes smaller than I was at the time) for Chris and Alex's wedding on the 17th January! Might be a tight squeeze after the festive period if you know what I mean but I have hopefully enough time to drop any added weight with Exante and doing my Slim In 6 workout every day, or it might be 6 out of 7 days you're meant to but we'll seem how much weight I might have put back on in the last little while as I have been quite naughty!

3) At the start of December or maybe the end of November 2013 I developed feelings for a friend of mine and hoped/thought be might have feelings for me in return. But due to his role in the church he wouldn't have been allowed to start dating until mid-August so there was not point doing anything about it. But when i decided to make goals for the up-coming new year I remembered when a few years back I almost told a guy how I felt about him but missed my chance and how it felt seeing him with someone else and I knew I didn't want to be left wondering 'What if...?' for the second time. So when I decided I would Be Brave in 2014 I did have this in mind. So it came to the beginning of August, and obviously after chatting to my girls about telling Him - I couldn't not discuss it first now, could I? What kind of girl would that make me?! ;) - I did it. In a very awkward and probably silly way, I told Him I had feelings for him and had a for a while. It was quite clear from his long pause and the look on his face that he didn't feel the same so I then said I knew he didn't share my feelings (which was actually true, I had know for a week or so, maybe longer) and that I just needed to tell him for me and I hoped we could still be friends. Which of course he said yes to as he is a lovely lad. But I did it! Even though it terrified me to do it, the thought of forever not knowing and being stuck in the dreaded Friend Zone scared me even more. So a 'grew a pair' and did it just like Abbie told me too, in a loving way of course.

Isla was only a few hours old when she
 stole a piece of my heart.

There are other ways in which I have been brave and most it not all of them are to to with opening myself up to people and letting them in, but the above story is the one that was the hardest to do. and perhaps one day I might tell you the entire story. who knows?


This year has had both ups and downs as any year would, but the downs have been very down and the highs very high. So a bit of a rollercoaster of a year you could say.

Isla at Cranleigh Bonfire.

The main lows would be that I had a minor car accident where someone drive into the back of my little Gregory which I then suffered quite bad whiplash because of needed a short spin of physio  as a result, And then just as I was coming to terms with everything that happened to me, my best friend, Liam, was in a very serious car accident that the doctors said it was a miracle his injuries didn't result in any brain damage or loss of movement. He got airlifted from Sussex to the Royal London Hospital as they are the most equipped to deal with the severity of Liam's injuries. He is still on the mend but got to leave hospital so much quicker than the doctors all thought possible because of how many people he had praying for him. That was most certainly the worst thing to happen this year.

I love her cheekiness
so very much!

The highest of highs would be that Christina and Liam brought little Isla Elizabeth Rawlings into this world on the 23rd February. This precious little muffin is a truly gorgeous creature and I love her so very much. Other highs include making new friends at church and growing other relationships too and learning to share my life and heart with them and them doing so with me in return. Chis and Alex got engaged this year - finally. ;) And I got to hang out with Abbie and Ava lots more this year too! And a plethora (wow, good word there Cherry) of other grand things happened as well.


Looking forward...I seemed to have done well with 3 goals in 2014 so I shall set 4 goals for 2015 and see how I do with them in a years time.

She would only eat her toast
in the bath...

1) I want to be creative this year a lot more than ever before. I'm not going to limit myself by giving specific ways and amounts of creativity per week or whatever as I know that wont work for me but I do have lots of ideas that I want to do/continue so we shall see how well I do in 365 days time.

2) I want to learn to budget. and actually stick to it! I made a budget last January but that's all I did, make it. I didn't stick to it or think much about it at all really. In 2015 that will not be the case. I want to be in charge of my money and not have it the other way around!

3) I want to grow this coming year. Obviously not in height as let's be honest, that ain't never gonna happen anymore :( But! I want to grow in lots this year, my giftings, in knowledge, in bravery and courage, confidence, my faith/relationship with the Father, etc... There are so many things I would love to be able to say I've grown in in a years time.

4) Helen and I have both said we want 2015 to be the year of music: to see as many people/bands play music as we can. So this is a purely fun one but that's OK. Plus if possible learning to play something would be awesome too. I already have tickets to see Ed Sheeran play at Wembly in July with Ella so I have something to look forward too and hopefully I will see many more musicians play too. And not just famous people, I want to take any opportunity to see play live if I can!

I have lots of hings to look forward to this next year some of which I have mentioned but instead of just listing them here, i will try to post about them once they've happened. But don't hold me to it as well all know how not-great at blogging regularly I am!!

Therefore, goodnight, God bless and I look forward to next years recap with you!

The Night Before.

Not sure if I posted this time last year or if I just journaled; but I'm pretty sure for the last couple of years on the night before my birthday I've taken time to right a little something and sort of take stock. I have only just got home from a birthday meal with the Favourites and as it is 23:51 currently, I am going to continue the post in the morning but I needed to right a little something now.

I remember thinking that 22 had been good and I wondered what 23 would have in store for me. It has been a year of ups and downs of course (which I may go into in the morning) but looking back I have thoroughly enjoyed this past year and feel like life just keeps getting better and going by quicker which I'm not too happy about... 

Anyway, I am off to bed now and shall see you when I'm officially 24. Yay!! 

A few of my favourite things.

I have not posted in so very long and I want to start it up again as I so loved writing. 

I know I have started, and will continue again, The List which are things that I love but all of a sudden I had the erge to write about things that I love, but in mess detail that a whole post per item. I'm sure I will elaborate of some of the following things in future List posts but it now, here a few of my favourite things. 

I love to sing. I may not be very good at it but I love singing. Ugly singin on purpose is also lots of fun. I do wish I has a beautiful Serena-esque voice but I don't so I have learnt to love the one I've got. 

My favourite biscuits are still Bourbons. But I am quite partial to an Oreo or few dipped into ice cold milk. 

I love passion fruit Rekordalig. It is so delicious and lush or delushous! 

My favourite season is autumn. I love the change of the colours, the sound of leaves crunching beneath my feet. I love going for walks or being outside and getting cold ears and nose then coming in and getting all rosy cheeked from the change in temperature. 

I love teddies and soft toys. For Christmas his year my grandma and grandad got me and elephant called Elliot who holds a heart that says "Granddaughter, you're loved so much more than you know. And it seems as time passes, the nicer you grow." And I freaking love him. I slept cuddling him every night as I fell asleep fr 2 weeks straight or something. And yes, I am 23 years old now. I don't care. 

My hair. Even though some days I want to cut it short or even twice I have wanted to shave it all off because it won't behave, I love my hair. I love my curls and the unpredictability of how it will lookin the morning. Even more so when I go to bed with wet hair, It gives me such joy to look at in the morning so much so that I often laugh out loud at myself. 

I love hugs and cuddles and all things snuggle-like. Whomever I marry better like it too or he's gonna struggle! I even cuddle in my sleep, as you heard above. But apparently I do it to people too if they are sleeping next to me. So he better be ok with spooning, being big the big and little spoon! 

As I know you will already know if you have read any of my previous posts, I love Jesus with all my heart. I asked him to be my best friend and in charge when I was 8 at Stoneleigh bible week in 1999 and have never regretted it. I have had so many hard and crushing times in my life and knowing that my Father God is taking care of me and carrying me when I can't go on is the most incredible thing I know. My relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit is the only perfect relationship I will ever have. God, all 3 parts of him, is my first love.

My all time favourite flowers are daisies. I just love them. 

I love music. I cannot ay anything unfortunately but I still want to learn. I tried to learn the guitar a few years back but my fingers seemed to small so I gave up quickly. I regret it big time. Even though I cannot play a note, I love listening to music. Almost all genres but I am not a fan of metal, of any kind. They just sound angry all the time. I'm sure they are incredible musicians and singers but it is just not my mug of hot chocolate.

McFly are my favourite band. I have very album of their except their 10 years:RAH one as I have out myself on a budget and couldn't afford it this month. 

I love hot chocolate! My favourite brand is Options. I have yet to find a flavour o theirs I do not like. I do not like tea or coffee soni have tried a lot of kinds or hot chocolate! 

Going for walks without knowing how long I will be and where I am going. I do this a lot around where I live in he Sussex and Surrey Downs links. 

I love accents. Any really. But my favourites so far I have heard in real life are: Irish - obviously. Scottish Welsh and Liverpudlian.  

Having a bath with candles, music/watching something on my laptop, lots of bubble bath and a cold drink. I like to lay in it until I'm all pruney. 

I adore ginger hair. Especially if it is curly. On both men and women. And myself :)

There are many other things that I love and adore like films, songs, movies and a whole host of other things but thins would be a stupidly long post I I said them all. Plus as soon as I thought I was finished I would think of more things to add so I'm going to quit now. 

I hope you have enjoyed this little insight into my life. I certainly had fun wiring it.