Shine A Light on Her (eh eh eh)

I don't know what it is that I want to write I just know that I want to post something. Anything. This time last year i was in Bedford and having the time of my life (well it was the best year of my life but it had only just begun really), planning things to do for my birthday with Becca as we share the date and doing a number of other fun things too. This year I am contemplating doing nothing for my birthday as I don't know many people well enough to do something with them. This is the first time this has ever happened. And I don't like it. It feels weird. Not because I'm spoiled or anything but simply because I have always had people do celebrate with; and now that I am home it feels like I pretty much have no one. :(
Don't get me wrong I am glad to be home but I would also like very much to be back in Bedders too. Or maybe it's not the place/church I miss maybe it's the people and the fact there was always someone I could do something with. I definitely think that me best friends are those I made this year; Cheryl Ingledew, Becca Riley, Zoe Heath, Rachel Marshal, Joanna Martin, Ben Leggott, Charlotte Wood, Josh Nobblet and Matt Davies to just name a few. This is probably because I got to know myself at the same time as they did really. And we learnt so much together and individually all at the same time on both TSM and FP Impact. September 2009 - August 2010 will always be one that I will never forget and will cherish the memories and photos/videos for my whole life. And I most certainly thank Jesus I met these and the rest of my new friends. Each and every single person who came into my life this year helped to make it the best year in my entire (almost) 20 years of life. You are all stars and I love you very much!
Actually this post is doing what I hoped it would, cheer me up and make me happy. Even though it started a bit moany at the beginning thinking about all my fellow FPers and TSMers and ever KAers has made me really rather joyful.
Well it is 5 to 5 which means home time in 5 minutes so I better finish this and  turn off my PC as it takes forever to do anything on it.
Peace out Lovelies! Xx

Going Through The Motions... (Plus Life's a Show)

It seems like at the moment my emotions/my life in general are just simply going through the motions. Or on a continuous cycley-loopy thing; thats quite scientific you know. (: Well it's either one of those or my body has decided to change from giving me agonising period pains to spazing up mu emotions. I'm hoping its one of the first two as otherwise having to go through life with this much a mix of ups and downs is sure to take its toll on me. ): Unless maybe it is just a phase and I will return to cramps each month, which tbh, I would so rather have and they sucked like no ones business!

I do happen to think though that the most likely reason for the rollacoaster emotionalness is because I am due to leave Bedford and the AMAZING people at the King's Arms, TSM and my FP Impact base in about a month and a half. Some of whom its is likely I will not be seeing again for at least a few years if not until heaven. Very, very, VERY sad times. D: Don't get me wrong I am so looking forward to coming home and working for KCH, but I feel more known here I 'spose. What I mean by that is after doing TSM and learning that I didn't show people the real me let alone know who I was. Whereas here, the people around me have been finding out whom I am alongside me finding out too. So there’s been no room to hide or put a mask on. So the people I know here, well a few of them, know me better than most if not all the people I know back home; which kind of scares me as I’m going to be living and doing life with them for the foreseeable future...

Life's a show

And we all play our parts

And when the music starts

We open up our hearts

It’s alright

If some things come out wrong

We'll sing a happy song

And you can sing along

Where there’s life, there’s hope

Everyday’s a gift

Wishes can, come true

Whistle while, you work

So hard, all day

To be like other girls

To fit in, in this glittering world

Don't give me songs

Don't give me songs

Give me something to sing about

I need something to sing about

Life’s a song

You don't get to rehearse

And every single verse

Can make it that much worse

Still my friends don't know why I ignore

The million things or more

I should be dancing for

All the joy life sends

Family and friends

All the twists and bends

Knowing that it ends

Well that depends

On if they let you go

On if they know enough to know

That when you've bowed

You leave the crowd

So give me something to sing about

Please give me something to sing about