I love I love I love Your presence

I had such an amazing time with Pappa this morning. No one was home so I went into my bedroom, stuck in my headphones with the volume up and just laid on the floor. Singing at full volume whic felt *SO* good as I never do it as I'm no Mickey Peacock shall we say. (: There were tears, there was laughter, there was uncontrolable sobbing and then god quieted me with His love. I don't think I have ever had a time with the Father like that on my own before. It happened in public a few weeks ago at TSM when we were at Russell Park Baptisit instead of our offices as we had a guy called Neil Chitty and his wife Sonya. But this morning was amazing! Truely a new level of intimacy and a bit of a breakthrough in the Secret Place too. God is so flipping good and graceful!
I really do love Him. With all my heart, He is and will always be my first love. even though I might want it, I know I don't need to be married to have true love and to give true love as I will always Love and have Him. One of the songs I was soaking to was called You Won't Relent and there are two parts of the song that spoke to me most which I have put in bold:

You won't relent until you have it all
My heart is yours( Repeat )

I'll set you as a seal, upon my heart
as a seal upon my arm
for there is a love, that is as strong as death
jealousy demanding as the grave
mand many waters, cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me,
come be the flame upon my heart,
Come be the fire inside of me,
until You and I are one.

I don't wanna talk about you, like you're not in the room,
I wanna look right at you,
I wanna sing right to you.

I can't really put into words (in a eligable fashion) what God was doing in me, at least not yet. He has been speaking to me so much of late, or I should say I've actually been listening of late as our Father is always talking to us because He loves us, it's just whether or not we choose/allow ourselves to actually hear Him. we are a silly race really if you think about it, we were created for relationship with God, not because He needed it just because he wanted to (that's an amazing statement right there - that I'll give you for free (: hehe ) so of course He is going to communicate with us otherwise it wouldn't nay COULDN'T be a real relationship yet we sometimes feel like He isnt saying anything. When the reality is that He always is and maybe we aren't really listening or He might just be using a different way to speak to develop and deepen our relationships.
Silly, Silly us. Gracious, gracious God. (:

Anyhoo not sure what else to say right now so Peace out Lovelies!

Going Through The Motions... (Plus Life's a Show)

It seems like at the moment my emotions/my life in general are just simply going through the motions. Or on a continuous cycley-loopy thing; thats quite scientific you know. (: Well it's either one of those or my body has decided to change from giving me agonising period pains to spazing up mu emotions. I'm hoping its one of the first two as otherwise having to go through life with this much a mix of ups and downs is sure to take its toll on me. ): Unless maybe it is just a phase and I will return to cramps each month, which tbh, I would so rather have and they sucked like no ones business!

I do happen to think though that the most likely reason for the rollacoaster emotionalness is because I am due to leave Bedford and the AMAZING people at the King's Arms, TSM and my FP Impact base in about a month and a half. Some of whom its is likely I will not be seeing again for at least a few years if not until heaven. Very, very, VERY sad times. D: Don't get me wrong I am so looking forward to coming home and working for KCH, but I feel more known here I 'spose. What I mean by that is after doing TSM and learning that I didn't show people the real me let alone know who I was. Whereas here, the people around me have been finding out whom I am alongside me finding out too. So there’s been no room to hide or put a mask on. So the people I know here, well a few of them, know me better than most if not all the people I know back home; which kind of scares me as I’m going to be living and doing life with them for the foreseeable future...

Life's a show

And we all play our parts

And when the music starts

We open up our hearts

It’s alright

If some things come out wrong

We'll sing a happy song

And you can sing along

Where there’s life, there’s hope

Everyday’s a gift

Wishes can, come true

Whistle while, you work

So hard, all day

To be like other girls

To fit in, in this glittering world

Don't give me songs

Don't give me songs

Give me something to sing about

I need something to sing about

Life’s a song

You don't get to rehearse

And every single verse

Can make it that much worse

Still my friends don't know why I ignore

The million things or more

I should be dancing for

All the joy life sends

Family and friends

All the twists and bends

Knowing that it ends

Well that depends

On if they let you go

On if they know enough to know

That when you've bowed

You leave the crowd

So give me something to sing about

Please give me something to sing about

So Good To Me

This is my new fave worship song - I heard it at KA when Sarah O was leading or at TSM when she leading (either way she introduced it to me) and I think it actually is better sang by her. But then some songs sounds better in male or female, this song I think is better in female. (:

The song is called so Good To Me by Cory Asbury:

I waited patiently upon the Lord
And He inclined and heard my cry
He pulled me up out of the miry clay
He set my feet upon a rock

Verse 2:
He gave me, beauty for ashes
And joy for my mourning
And praise for heaviness
He put a new song in my mouth
And a crown upon my head
He gave me life forevermore

Main Chorus:
Hes been so good, so so good to me
So good, so so good to me, so good so so good to me Jesus

Chorus 2:
Cause He picked me up and He turned me around
And He placed my feet on the solid ground
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

So in the words of Sarah; to me this song in un-freaking-believable! I just love it. Lately I feel like this song just applies to my life at the moment. Even though there have been some sucky things to happen/not to happen of late I still feel like I am surrounded by a bubble of the Father's goodness, presenting iyself in many different ways. Which is pretty awesome to be honest.

Peace out lovelies!