Slept like a baby?

As I was lying awake in bed just now (at 1.37 am) I though I wish I could sleep like a baby. then as I pondered what that might look like, I realised I do do that, and not just because my thumb gets sucked; but because I generally wake up throughout the night and am grumpy in the morning because of it. And sometimes not sleeping makes me cry, as it did today. Yeah that's right I cried today because of lack of sleep, but then again, so would you if you hadn't had a good night sleep in almost 5 years! Argh this sucks ass! ):
It will be 5 years on the 28th July since I have slept properly. Wondering why I know the exact date? Well let me tell you: it was on the 28th at about 6am ish that I found out that I had gotten drunk at a party the previous night and someone had put the testicle and penis in my mouth as I had slept. The testicle is legally classed as sexual abuse and the penis is rape. And I found out these two things from the person who had done them. He said when I woke up with the others in the tent "Haha! I tea-bagged you!" So as I walked home the 45 minute walk ride, not wanting to wait another three hours for when my mum had arranged to pick me up, I called Child line and asked them if it was sexual abuse, they said yes. So a little while later on my walk, I called mum at home and asked her to unlock the door as I would be home soon an didn't have my keys. She sounded extremely worried on the phone as not only was it not even 7 am yet, but because I was crying. When I got in, I told her not to be angry with me as I had taken 2 of dad's beers with me, and then I told all of what I could remember/was told (luckily god had put me in a deep sleep and I have no memory of what Norman** did to me). So mum called the police and tried to contact dad as he was away on a TA 2 week camp, but couldn't get hold of him. so shortly after 2 policemen came, took my statement , drove me and mum to a house where I was examined my a doctor and had to pee in a cup. And that was the day before I went to Faith Camp and then Newday.
So at first I got nightmares because of it which went away after some prayer a few months later and then they came back at the time of the trial but left again shortly after. They've not come back but now I just can't really sleep well, or at all some nights. And this is one of those nights - it's now 1:50am and I'M not tired at all. But then again I left TSM early as i was struggling to stay awake and then slept for almost 5 hours after that. And not it has been about 3 hours since I awoke and now I can't get off to sleep again. So I thought I'd just tell you that, whoever *you* are as I don't know who reads this. But there you go, now you know a little something about me.

But yeah I am pretty much always shattered but for me life is being shattered at the moment - which as i said earlier suck ass. Of course I've gotten prayed for for the sleeplessnees, the Norman thing, and stuff related to it, and sometimes I do sleep ok-ishly, but then there are weeks like this week where I hardly sleep at all. ):
Man I just wanna SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! )': so if you're reading this and you love Jesus please pray for me. And you know what, even if you aren't a Christian could you please pray too, every little helps as Tesco says. (:


Well cheers for, um well not listening as this is written and also 'cause you're not in my bedroom for me to talk to, but, um, thanks for being you. Yeah that works, thanks for being who you are (whoever you are reading this, hehe)

Peace and Love
~ Nikerz Xx



**Lets call him Norman.