(so i started writing this like Feb or something and never finished it and i cant remember why i started this post back then)



Yeah okay so I don't have feelings for Ben anymore. Not relationship-y feelings anyway; I know I shouldn't feel hurt by him as he never knew how I felt but as I was psyching myself up to telling him. But never mind and that is not the reason for this post.



So I' going to just write what I was to write about now. How flipping amazing is GOD!?!

Well let me tell you that he is so amazing you will never even begin to getting close to know just how awesome he is! Which in itself is amazing! Basically, he's just WOW!! with an un-ending amount of exclamation marks! I was at my last ever (or for a while at least) May Camp with Kings and I just loved it - I even loved the smelly, noisy cows that were situated almost all around us. That's how good it was, which is not even counting any of the ~God stuff in it either. On the last meeting, Monday morning, i just thought "Sack it. I haven't given worship my all even if i thought i had been trying to so I'm just gonna go for it. No matter what the rest of the youth think!" And wow-wee did God bless me for it! the night before i got Maggie to pray for me and she said i was going to start seeing things that i can't really explain or that feel real but never happen etc. And then when I was worshiping i did. God gave me the God-Giggles again.. which are flippingly fantastic.. and he showed me us. As in me and God. Together. It was me when i was younger, a child in the earthly meaning, running around this beautiful meadow of wild flowers and long grass. I was running with, to and from a man dressed in white robes had a shinning, glorious white light emanating from every part of him. We were laughing and giggling and playing in a beautiful meadow full of wild flowers and long grass to hide in. It just felt so real. It was breath-takingly amazing! And in 'real life' I was still in the marquee with everyone and I was uncontrollably laughing; like literally rolling on the floor laughing with my legs waving in the air. It must have been a right sight for the youth to see - me, in my pj's, having a giggle fit on the floor during worship (: A few of them did come up to me after the meeting and say it was hilarious and that made me feel two very different things at the same time. 1) He he yeah it was but also 2) a deep sadness in my heart: because they didn't understand or grasp what I had in me that made me laugh - the Holy Spirit's freedom and the joy of the Lord. They just don't have it yet and I so desperately want them to understand it so they can have it for them selves and then more importantly give it away to the dying world around them!
So that's my prayer for them, that they catch the wave of what Jesus Christ is so clearly doing at King's and jump in and enjoy!